Ups and Downs (III)

[Zues126]

Thanks J. I guess the point that I was trying to make that got lost in my rambling was this: I have no fear, because no matter what happens, I will always have the freedom to choose how to respond, and the freedom to appreciate whatever life I have. The more I've made that my focus, the more I've felt at peace.

The loss of a marriage is beyond any scope of measurement I had in my life. I don't think you ever fully recover and healing is measured in years, not months or weeks. This is important because I think the desire to be better can drive us to make poor choices, like somehow we can do something that will change how much loss we took. If there's one thing I have done well it is to not let my emotions control me.

I think it comes from pool. I've watched a lot of players lose because they break down under pressure. It's like they are so, so, so uncomfortable that they just hurry up and shoot, rushing their shot, because they'd rather lose than endure more pressure of facing defeat. That's not so great. For me, I would always take a little extra time, and kind of acclimate to the pressure. I'd make peace with the loss before I shot so that I no longer had the fear, I would say to myself "hey, on the way to the world championship you're going to miss a lot of key shots, and this might be one of them. But if you overcome the fear of those setbacks and focus on giving your best to each opportunity you'll someday get there, and when you do you will be remembered by your accomplishments, not the setbacks you encountered along the way." Then I'd shoot, not so worried about whether I made this one shot, but rather that I was approaching it with the fierce attacking mentality that would lead me to greatness SOMEDAY.

I'm sorry you're on these boards and in the middle of this muck. I'm a big J fan as well. Just continue to steer by your beliefs and not your emotions and your life will gradually look better and better, and finding daily appreciation will start to come easier and easier. Take care!