Today was one of those tough days when trying to create space between myself and W. As I mentioned in my original post our S12 is a Type1 diabetic and 4 times a year he has to go see his specialist. This is something both of us need to attend so it's a 3hr round trip car ride with the 3 of us.
As I also said my W and I are communicating very well when we do these days but I so would like to create that distance over a period of time and also dont want my S to see us together like that. I think its just hard for him.
Everything went well, conversation was good not just small talk. We all laughed at times, when my S napped the conversation was meaningful. I know none of that means anything now as she is set on her decision and I dont ever question it or bring it up but its hard to accept it's not what it should be.
I am committed to being patient and letting her let me know, if she ever will, that maybe her thought process has changed. I just have to continue to detach and validate when possible. I miss her and the kids so much but I do not let it show. I will continue to GAL and not obsess over every conversation and look she gives. I know I need to just work on me for now and hopefully some day the tide will turn
I believe marriage is sacred, marriage is permanent, even if there is no happy ending for us, I will not regret the stance I have taken. I will know that I made the right decision and followed the only course possible for me. I will have done all that I could and in the end, hopefully that will be enough. At least that's what I keep telling myself :-)
Thanks for listening and thanks for all the thoughtful comments.
