Wife files divorce after I confronted her 2nd EA

[CWOL]

Very good points, Sandi! This 2X4 got to me.
I went back and read Cadet's links and I do recognize myself in it. I need help getting out of that mentality, however. I am taking everything thrown at me and internalizing it. I saw this whenever I read the briefs, talk to WW, etc. I take exactly what they write/say at face value, and feel it's a direct attack on ME. Even if I know what they are about to say, I still react with anger and emotions when I hear/read it.
It is easy to identify the problem, but how do I fix myself? It's good there are so many examples for Detachment, but I think I am far too emotional right now to be able to Detach effectively. Before all of this happened, I was a calm and collected person. Now I am an emotional mess.
How do I learn to detach effectively? I read the words on the post and they make sense to me. How do I force myself to not get angry and emotional with every challenge or trigger? Just by saying "I will detach and not let X get to me" and establishing a boundary for it doesn't guarantee that will happen.