Exactly what feelings are you trying to detach from?

The D is showing what a terrible person your W has become. Okay, so what kind of feelings do you have about her greed and lack of remorse? Are you obsessed with it? If so, it is controlling your life at the moment.

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How do I detach myself from these feelings when I get waves and waves of them thrown at me, every time I have to read one of their briefs? T


Wave of them thrown at you. By "them", I assume you mean feelings? Nobody can force feelings on you. Only one person has charge of how you will feel. That power belongs to YOU, and only you. So when you say how can I detach when I am getting them thrown at me............you are sounding as if you have no options, and all these feelings are forced down your throat.

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Their RFO's are always full of accusations that are untrue or amplified to make me look back.


Well YOU know the accusations are false, right? Is there anything you can do about her false accusations? You have a lawyer to handle the legalities. If there is nothing to gain or there is nothing you can do to change it......let it go and stop allowing it to have power over you. But don't hang your head and cry as though you are a whipped dog. Handle yourself with dignity and know that you did not sell out your integrity. You know the truth, and in time, so will the people that really matter the most.

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Also, suppose our D is finalized. I still have to see her twice a week. Some people have suggested that I let S11 walk from her car to my door, or drop him off to walk to her apartment. I don't think it's realistic when we have S11 intertwining our lives forever, whether it's school, piano recitals, etc.


That is b/c you don't want to see it any other way. It can be done, b/c I see it being done every single day by people around me. But even if you do see her twice a week, what does that have to with you detaching? Hey, it's easy when we are never around anyone or anything that bother us. However, we better know how to apply it, b/c sooner or later it happens, and we will be challenged about how we choose to handle it.

Go back and carefully read about what Cadet sent you about detaching. I think you may recognize yourself.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!