I think your original poster title was momof2girls and I do remember you!
You've been down this road before and you know that you can't control and/or fix him. He has to do that himself. You also can rationalize w/him concerning what he's doing and w/whom. The more you attempt to talk to him about the ow, the harder he's going to run the other way.
We all have days when the burden of raising children and taking care of a home can be stressful. Is there any way that you can ask him to watch the girls for a bit or ask a friend to watch them? Sometimes, you need a break, a change of scenery to clear your head a bit.
As for him going to counseling...good for him. What are you scared and worried about? Go back to the basics of leaving him alone, not questioning him or commenting about the ow. Keep the conversations on safe topics and see how that goes. The less you argue w/him, the better. You are just fueling his fire of justification as to why he's doing what he's doing. When he's upset about something say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and end the conversation.
It's time to put the focus back on you and your girls.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
