Your story is very similar to mine.

Right now you have to work on being the best you you can, and leave the past in the past. There will be a time to deal with it, but now isn't it.

Me: 38 y/o
W: 38 y/o
Together: 10 yrs
Married: 7 yrs
S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15)
WBD: Sep '15
W's EA confirmed Oct'15
W Filed Dec '15
Personal awakening Mar'16