Doing better....Oh wait

[otw]

ok, update time

I have been posting on others threads and figured i will fill everyone in on my situation so maybe some things can make some sense or at least see how they work first hand.

Since my last few posts of testing things with wife i decided to pull away a little more again as I could see that I was the only one making any effort.

I let things go for a while. Got busy spending time with friends and kids. W had a wedding to go to that i really did not know anything about and it kind of bugged me a little but i was busy that weekend and it passed as things always do.

Had to see wife Wednesday of last week at kindergarten registration for he little guy. I was doing all of the paperwork when she got there and just acknowledged her and kept going. S5 looks at her and asks if he is sleeping at her house that night, which he was not, she said no then he said goo!, ouch, then proceeded to ask her then why is she there! He is a tough one.
So W and i were in line to turn in paperwork and i was planning on just keeping to myself but she started opening up about everything going on in her life. She has been teaching a lot more classes lately and missed a recital do to the wedding. She said I missed the recital because of this stupid wedding! I was quiet and just listened and validated her ramblings about it all. I must say i felt better hearing her say that even though it should have no effect.

We talked a lot and left generally happy. I had kids this weekend and we had to head up to her fathers campground last minute as i had to help with the concession area i run there. I called her to let her know the kids would not be in town and we talked a bit. Told her I would have the kids call while we were on the road. We called later and talked some more. After about an hour when we were there W sends me a message asking if we got there ok and just making sure we were ok. I responded accordingly and let her know some of our plans. I was getting the feeling she is missing doing some of these things.

Kids and i had a blast and they played hard over the 2 days. Saturday evening w called before bed and was very open about she was heading out to pick up a friend in town and do something. Normally she just tells she is going to "dinner" but for some reason she seemed like she was trying to be transparent.

We got home yesterday and w came to pick up kids while we were out doing a little yard work. the kids were not happy about leaving but both went running up to her and asked if we can all have dinner together, I kind of just kept doing what i was doing. Surprisingly she responded excitedly saying sure. I didnt acknowledge this. I have another lawn mower that i dont use from when we were together and she needed one at her place and asked about it a while ago. I told her i need to make sure it is in good running condition and may drop it later. She said she could take it now if i wanted to save a trip, I asked her how she would get it out of the truck and she started joking showing me her muscles and laughing. very odd.

She then said she will just let me do it. I was on a search for D7 ipod after they left and finally found it after quite a hassle. i called W to tell her I found it and would drop off with lawn mower. When i told her the story about finding it she was laughing and being very engaged, also very weird. I said i was going to shower then bring everything by, and then went out on a limb and asked if they wanted to do dinner together. She said yes very quickly. So we had dinner at her place, good time. we both were giving each other a lot of attention even while the kids were acting crazy. Got kids in bed and headed out. Then realized S5 had an event at school the next day we both forgot about. He had to be dressed up. i called her and we realized i have all of his dress clothes. I had to take some back to her and we laughed about how he is going to hate it.

Had some text back and forth today about a few things for kids as well.

So I said before things were strange with us, then i felt the traction wasnt going anywhere so i backed off, now i think things are even more strange. I was almost driven last night to tell her I had a really good time, I wanted to wait for her to say the same then I was going to ask her out alone. I stopped myself as I did not want to scare her way again.

So my moral here is I guess i need patience. I seemed once i pulled away that she came closer. Strange how the advice here actually is accurate, but it is on its owm timeline, not mine.
Am i saying we are going to start doing things together and get back together, no, but we are in a different place then we have been.

The part i am struggling with is determining if i need patience or need to push things forward. I guess if i feel the timing is right then i will, but right now it will be patience.

There were more details in all of this and makes things seem like we are more of moving towards each other, but i am pushing them off as I feel they could just be nothing.

Anyway, I hope some of those on here that are fairly new can see that I am over a year since BD, she moved out Novemeber 1, and just now do i feel things are different. You can actually speed things up if there is a chance of healing, you do this by getting out of the way! I can not stress that enough.

Believe me I did everything like i hear people here. Tried nicing her back, nope, thought my changes and 180s will stop it, nope. These things have to run there course while you become a better person.