Need help please

[1313]

albac,
I'm guessing you're not able to get a DB coach to talk to?

I can tell you one thing. A month or two is nothing. It seems like forever - and for us at the beginning it is. I came here, I plead, I begged. Anything I would do to keep it together.

I can say one thing, and don't take it the wrong way. 24 is very, very young. #%$&, I wish I could be there again, but only physically. I was barely out of college, and had barely started my career path. There's a lot to chew on in life. I can understand her frustrations and fears.

For now, seriously, I can tell you this is the best method there is. I unfortunately didn't find it when I had the chance to make things work. The methods I learned "made sense", and they were WRONG. The guy sounded great though.

These are counter intuitive. These are for you as well if things don't work. However, read Cadet's homework. Read Sandi's rules for the WAW and WW, read them again and then read one more time. Nothing is sinking in just yet.

You'll need to set boundaries. You'll need to detach. You'll need to do all of these things. Remember! Believe none of what she says, and half of what she does.

The W you married isn't there right now. She needs to be shocked into reality. You need to show her just what life is like if she had never met you. That means you don't exist. Read DR, follow it to the letter. If you have to contact her regarding your D, keep it as brief as you possibly can. No emoticons. No feelings. It's a business transaction.

I know your doubts right now. It took me a month to straighten up and fly right. Fully detach. Set all my boundaries. Cut ties. And now, for the first time I'm seeing something somewhat positive. I'm not stopping, nor reverting. Because it could change just as fast.

We're here for you, we're pulling for you. This won't be easy.