GAL going well. Need help with LRT and 180

[Rose888]

I'm curious to see what the more experienced posters say, because the goal section confused me a bit too.

It seems to me that many of the examples in the chapter work only in situations in which the two partners are setting goals together.

You can't set goals for another person.

My husband is not currently willing to work on the marriage. I could DB perfectly, and he could still decide to leave the marriage. And frankly, looking for signs that he is leaning toward staying or leaving is making it more difficult for me to establish any degree of emotional detachment.

Right now, my goals are all about me and my responses to specific situations. The small signs I look for are limited to how H reacts to my changed responses--does it reduce conflict and keep us from going down cheeseless tunnels?

Now, I'll wait to hear from those with more experience. :-)