First and foremost is addressing the codependency though and that can be very hard whilst you are in house S. One solution is to find a good course to be on and to go and do that learning experience, to escape for a retreat to put your thoughts in order.
It is through becoming, through learning who you are. From becoming a friend and lover to yourself and not your own acquaintance.
There is little wrong with healthy shame and guilt, it creates change and shift. If it motivates you then embrace it. No need to squash it or reject it. Please Google Breen Brown and Vulnerability there is a tremendous Ted Talk you can listen to about resolving deep inappropriate shame and becoming authentic.
I would caution you that your WAW has choices too and you are responsible for yours. There is a saying used well here your circus and your monkeys. At this stage play in your own sandpit.
Please know that you are doing DB for you irrespective of its affects for your M, and I had Sandi 37 guide rules laminated and I carried these with me. I know them by heart like the 10 commandments and even though I am half way D and completely NC I still measure myself by them.
Peace
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
