Hi LandC, I agree with annab that you are in a way better position than a lot of us were when we came here. You sound much stronger than I did when I was in your position.
The most important thing that you can do now is to take care of yourself. So that you will have the strength and the clarity of mind to fight this war.
Time is a gift because in time to come, your H may see that you're not the cause of his unhappiness. Also, because he doesn't see you so often now, time is a gift for you to make changes to yourself so that he will see a new and improved you.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
