LBS alone in new city, trying to 180 alone

[LiM]

Follow your lawyers advice and do what you can to protect yourself. You can't be worried about what he or his family thinks.

As far as his behavior? Who knows. Everyone is different. He appears to fit the definition of a WAS so I would pay attention when the book or people on the forum talk about that.
Is there any reason at all to think that there might be an A? It doesn't sound like it based on your story.
Even though you feel that way, all hope is certainly NOT lost. But that doesn't mean this will be easy or quick to repair. You need to accept that he is already gone and readjust your focus on taking care of yourself. Detach and work on your issues. That is what will give you the best shot at getting him back into the M.
In my case, I ended up filing for D after discovering that my W's A was still going on. As it turns out, that was the catalyst for turning things around. But when I filed, it wasn't to shock her out of the fog, it was because I had truly detached and was willing to go on with my life without her. I made it very clear to her that I would not stay M to her if that's how she wanted to live her life. I told her I was done. What she has seen in me over the past few months is a very different person than I've been for the first 20+ years of our relationship. I am strong and confident but loving and kind. The new me is what she is coming back to.