Yesterday's gone. Tomorrows not here... (4)

[otw]

Man. That is tough. I know people will say don't mind read and who knows what she is doing. Yeah right! Sorry bud.

If any condolence at least we both know he is a lowlife and she will most likely have a awful time coming.

I think we also both know as hard as it may sound it is time to start moving forward. Maybe not on yet but forward.

Maybe time to start putting yourself out there for some group style outings putting you around the opposite sex. Not saying cross any lines you aren't ready for yet but the interaction.

Again. I believe this DB stuff but I also maybe get a little extreme with certain thoughts as well.

[pinn]

Thanks OTW... I do that already with yoga and my running. I do like the attention. But I could do more of it.

She had to have done this on purpose. I was definitely going to see her car there. It was right on the god damn road. hmph.

In terms of mind reading... I am not even do that. I know she has been friends with that family for awhile.. maybe their mom is sick.. who knows. Whats pisses me is off is she said we should talk and then never made time for it. There is no mind reading there... that's fact.

[otw]

Now that I think about it my w did something on purpose she knew I would see on Facebook. We aren't friends but commented a guy we both know that sent me something earlier in the day. She is way out his league but she knew I would see it. I never reacted or mentioned it. Funny how they act.

[pinn]

Yea I mean i'll ignore it. I won't mention it to her. Just went shopping and her car is still there. There is no doubt in my mind that she knows I saw it... it would be almost impossible for me not to since its been there all day.

I'll have to take a few days and process the entire situation. Not just our marriage, but the 17 years of BS I have dealt with. It will be hard not sending her that note I mentioned on the last page tomorrow asking her to make up her mind. I'll try to resist though. Might be time to take some of TXH's advice.

[Pax_luv]

Hi Pinn,
Sorry to hear of this new observation. Yep...our spouses stink as human beings sometimes... It really makes me question why we put up with it. You've been doing the work to make yourself the best Pinn possible during all this that you really don't deserve to be disrespected at this juncture. Granted, you aren't going to know for sure what's going on and why your w was there, but still, We LBSs have busted our a$$es for months on end, and I just am so sick of watching good, compassionate, loyal people continuing get kicked in the gut. Uch...

You're strong. You know yourself well enough to listen to your own heart and continue on the path that you decide.

[pinn]

thanks for checking in Feyth.. i had been thinking about you.

The thing that is pissing me off, isn't the fact that she was there... fine, whatever. I am way better than that loser. I get mad at the things she said and that she said she wanted to talk and there is no action to back it up. I didn't bring up talking, she did. I don't get why she doesn't push for D... I don't see any benefit for her staying like this.

I really do not want to see her this weekend but at the same time I really want to run this half marathon as well. I could just go and do my thang. I would want to wait until she finishes though... it is her first one. I could leave right after. I think she will be waiting around for others to finish.

[pinn]

BTW.. the push from friends and family to finally get her out of my life after 17 yrs of similar BS is really becoming strong. I can't really disagree with much of what they say

[pinn]

man... need someone to set me straight. With the latest developments and having been in NC for about 2 and half weeks now, all I want to do is let WW know that I give up and am ready to move on with this. I have almost sent her something about 20 times tonight but somehow resisted. I feel like I should wait until around our anniversary and BD date which is about 2 months away to bring it up. But it is hard. I want to text her that I hear that fat lady singing.

wonder what is going on in that head. Maybe all that stuff was just temp checking though I don't think I handed it that badly.

Ah well... I gotta try not to worry about this for another 2 or so months. It is hard though.

[otw]

Pinn
One question. Deep down do you want her back? And do you think it could work?

[Jb9140]

Yeah. It's tough. I feel fortunate and cursed that my wife and I have two kids together. My wife moved out the first of this month and it feels like forever. Two more months or ten more months the choice is ours. Hang in there and hopefully things will work out for the best.