Great post V - and Bluwave, I'm really pleased to see you posting in newcomers - you provide some useful insight for us all and I hope you'll gain support too from those who have successfully reconciled and still post.

Can I ask - was yours purely (and I don't say that lightly) an infidelity situation, or was your H going through MLC? Only asking out of interest and because my H seems to be in MLC...

I've seen others post about the Dear Peggy website for healing and also people seem to find the His needs her needs book helpful - affair proofing your M. Also, have you considered retrouvaille at all? Some vets seem to rate it and it seems to happen in various countries. I thought it was just the US, but it's the UK too.

It sounds like you are doing pretty well, given all circumstances and I do feel the aspect of focusing on you first and the R second is a good way to live your life.

Do keep posting and have a good weekend xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus