I like what you say about not focusing on "getting the short end of the stick" . That type of outlook can be destructive. I do not want to be that bitter and angry person anymore. I am happy that my anger has been subsiding. While I no longer have hope for restoring my marriage, I am feeling more hopeful about my life and future. Making choices that you know are right versus choices that are savvy (can't think of a better word) and short termed may certainly lead to a healthier and happier out like.
In a way, I am kind of lucky because I do not have to deal with the material loss that others have. I never really had anything, so nothing to lose. I went to a few support group meetings with some very wealthy wives. Some were having a hard time coping with downsizing. There was no real adjustment period for me. Our finances, bills, benefits were all separate. Our lives were separate. My lawyer remarked upon the dysfunction of such a set up.
Your situation, and the situation of many of the higher earning LBS has been beyond unfair. It takes a very strong person to not be consummed with anger and resentment (although completely understandable and normal). It scares me that my brother could one day be faced with a similar situation. I wish the courts did take into consideration who walked away and the infidelity factor (I won't even get into my thoughts on how the courts should handle infidelity. It's essentially a breach of contract. But much worse).
I am pretty aware that husband sees me as the abusive wife that pushed him out and is going to receive court' s support. It hurts.
Anyway thank you always for your inspirational postings. They are so helpful to me.
