"My H didn't open up about his needs and feelings, was a people pleaser, and always wanted to be the nice guy. So I had no idea how unhappy he was! So now that he has burned me, he has to walk the fine line of learning to take care of his own needs and stand up to me, while simultaneously repairing the damage and earning my trust."
[color:#CC66CC]My H is still trying to please everyone; feels responsible for making everyone happy. One reason he left me was because he felt he made me miserable and that I didn't like him. But I had (ignorantly) wrapped much of my life around him to show him I loved him. I was incredibly co-dependent.
He BD in August, moved out in October, and filed in January. I have finally gotten to the point that I can show him (almost sincerely) that I am moving on and ok; even cheerful. We see each other often while working on preparing the house for sale. Now he is calling me and talking more (I've learned to validate and encourage him to share his thoughts and feelings) and asking me if I'm "still doing a, b, or c (180's, changes or new interests or activities I started since he left). Almost as if he thought I was just doing things for him and not for me. But I am doing them for me. It has made me feel better after he caused me to feel such devastation.
It really is so nice to hear your story and what you have learned from your experience. The piecing process and overcoming the damage done before seems very rough. If I have the opportunity to get to that point, I wonder how H's treatment of me, and mine of him, will affect us? [color]
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
