Hi Bluwave, thank you for validating, sometimes like today crying and crying I think of how I treated him, took him for granted, and leaned on him so much while not taking thingsn seriously myself, I feel I brought in aka "created the monster" myself and feel terribly guilty/sorry. I have tried apologizing and would NEVER want that unhealthy way in our relationship. How did it turn around for you, if I might ask? How long? Whta signs woudl I look for for IF? I have no idea. It coudl be online, he works online a lot, but also met new friends (we just arrived knowing basically no one). So it's possible; but as a recent christian with a deep good conscience, I know it couldn't last. H'e's way too good of a man if that were the case. He has gone to confession as well befor adn we recently met with a priest who offered to meet us individually, and he seeemed comfortable with him, so hopefully he might pursue that once he is at that point. I just don't know how he can go without any contact, erasing all photos, blocking, knowing I'm struggling, with no outward concern or compunction. Knowing him, unless he's being heavily influence by other family/people/counselor, it's pretty hard to believe he himself could be at peace with it. He's too good of a person.
JksD, my parents have their issues I struggled with gorwing up, they are not in a place to help at all $ or much emotionally, it's actually more stressful being there, so I cannot jsut move back, and don't have much supprot there either. Friends are avail by phone in other states, which is literally my lifeline, but so hard being physically alone day after day. i miss hugging, holding (always a good one for uss), holding hands, gentle touch, cooking, hiking, laughing, all of it. And his family, like crazy.
