M, I'm right there with you and have been at this for the same amount of time. I look at the person my h has become and realize I really don't like him. I said that to my IC a couple of months ago and she let out a breath, dropped her notepad in her lap and said, "I wondered when you would finally say that."

Don't feel for a minute that you've let anyone down or have been discouraging to newbies. You've been an inspiration to a lot of LBSs here.

In the end, if things don't work out, at least we know we gave it our all and we are better people for what we've learned about ourselves along the way.

We all really are pretty damn awesome and so are you!

I will say the same thing to you that I would say to my own D ... step back, take a breath and focus on what is best for you and your son. The answers will come.

Me: 59 and holding
H: :53
Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown
M: 19
T: 23
BD: 9-23-2013