thanks for the support! I get that she is on an emotional high and it seems she isn't coming back to reality. I read the 37 rules and started to implement them and have re read them a couple times. What worries me is that I was checked out for so long, this seems like more of the same. I get that they may be more for me and making me stronger and more confident. I feel the detachment gets a bit easier everyday, i still have my moments where im breaking down and crying, can't help it. comes and goes.
Today though I kinda goofed I think. I asked her how she was feeling, i know i'm not supposed to initiate but she has been silent for so long and I have been keeping quiet too. I tried to cut the tension in the house i guess. She mentioned to me also that the house will be appraised on Tues. That way she can figure out at the bank if she can get a line of credit to buy me out and go back to her L for the seperation agreement. It seems everyday its getting more and more real. I got a little anxiety from this, can't imagine what it'll be like the day I'm moving out.
I honestly don't get it? How one day you feel so secure and then the next your whole world is crashing down around you. I get nothing lasts forever but I was so not prepared for this. Funny thing, When I was in my early 20's I was married and I cheated on my then wife. left the house after I was caught. I ran and found out down the road that things are not better. life still is a challenge. My XW and I get along these days, we have a D15 together and both remarried. I feel like this is payback. I walked that road and said I would never get married again and I would never cheat on anyone ever as that is the worst thing you can do to another person. I kept to that. it was the one and only time I ever cheated. Haven't thought about it forever, and now it seems payback/karma, whatever you want to call it is working its magic. The problem is, I was all in this time, thats whats ripping my heart out.
I appreciate the support and I will look up Tyler12 and Job. Thanks for that! I'll keep trying to GAL and follow the 37 rules, and I hope the DR book arrives soon. want to dive into that.
Me 40 W 35 Kids 2 S6 D3 T 10 yrs M 8yrs BD 11Mar16
