Funny that me being alive made you happy Shotgun as wasn't thinking like that today! Was on the verge/ crying most of the day! I'm really down. H is taking OW to his weekend for his favourite hobby competition ( he never asked me to go even before we had kids), went out with friends but my heart wasn't there! One texted me to say that I looked quite depressed and I am! I don't get it. I'm 13 months into this s$*t, it feels like I'm back at BD! Why am I like that? I can't see a happy future. H has really broken me and I can't seem to find a way to mend me. H came to pick up kids and no acknowledgement of my presence! How much simpler it'd be if there were no children involved!
Have I been the worst wife in this world? Am I that difficult to live with? I have always put my kids and H before me? Is it wrong to put your kids first? Did I really deserved to be cheated on? Am I that evil that H couldn't be honest and tell me he didn't love me anymore instead of having OW! I have registered with dating website to boost a bit of my ego, even on it I get no interest! I know I'm not ready to date but it'd be nice to chat at time! Feeling so worthless, second hand good!
