CRW, I think you are handling yourself very well! This could be a loooong road. It cannot be evaluated day by day. Although I have no doubt she second guesses her choices, she is NOT going to let you see that. Less R talks so she doesn't need to keep reminding you, or herself, that she is done.

I don't have much advise, other than keep being a great man & dad! Don't do this to win her back, but do this for you and for your kids. If she is knee deep in an A, she has checked out and will cake eat and keep you as a friend. You do what works for you. Over time, she will see the man you are, and if she doesn't want that, it is her loss.

If possible, put off the D if it's not what you want right now. Not as a way to play games or frustrate her, but this is a huge decison that deserves a lot of time and thought.

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela