I do have a question for you. You mentioned that you were headed for a D during the year your H was gone, but did either of you ever actually initiate the process? Did you talk to lawyers? Were they able to give you any advice? How did you feel like you were able to protect yourself from the possibility of financial catastrophe? My H has been engaging in some very risky behavior. I worry that he is a liability to me if he were to go out and get himself into trouble. He's a very smart person, but he has done some incredibly stupid things.
[color:#3366FF]I spoke to a L a couple times for advise, but did not retain anyone. I live in a no fault state, so that was a major factor. Also, I soon realized that it did not benefit me in anyway to file. Actually, it would have hurt me financially to make a move. But my sitch may be very diff than yours--not fault state, we have kids, I was living in our home, etc.
He did some very stupid things too. Lucky for me, he did not mess up our finances. He was also scared, and guilt-ridden, so he was usually careful. He said clearly he was done and wanted D, but that he wanted to go to mediation. He said all sorts of things, but really what he wanted was to run from our complicated life and find comfort in the last person that thought he was wonderful.
He didn't take action though. I guess that is why they say to believe none of what they say and half of what they do! I later found a law book and several pages of empty legal documents--not one was ever filled out.
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
