Headed for D - Trying to move on

[J5K]

CWOL,

Not sure if OMs realize it. She says she has told them. The likely chance that she will get remarried is slim based on having 5 boys. She has no problem giving them back when they are older if they want to live with me if some of them choose to live with dad is what she says.

I understand both points of view, hers and mine, she says I can have them all the long weekends and all holidays and have them more than 60 days a year. In her head she wants them, especially now when they are young.

I tried to negotiate this morning with her for 50/50 and she continues to say that the only way that will happen is if I move. So W and I will always disagree.

We will have to do parallel parenting because we do parent differently. Every time I discipline and she asks to speak with one of the boys she does not back up my disciplinary action and changes direction. She is trying to build a case against me saying the boys regression in school was because I filed for divorce and that she did not leave them, she left me. Continues to state that she cannot live in the same house as me, yet she is ok with spending money on hotels and now blaming me for the D.

I guess I understand DB coaches comments that I have been doing everything wrong in order to build a positive relationship. My question is, has anyone given up physical custody of their children? Did this make a positive impact on the R with the XW or XH? Has this person continued to DB and had success in finding a new R or remarrying?

If there is even a sitch close to mine I would sure love to read it because I am so torn. Heart says keep boys (DB through tough love which I have been trying to do), mind says take advice of DB coach and own up to my mistake of filing first (W has made statements similar to DB coach). I am sure if I did the latter it would take her years to get over all the wrong things she thinks I did to even reconsider an MR.