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NYGal, hoping for the best for you tonight!


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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It was a very good night. We spoke honestly and from the heart. She says she's done w ow. We are going to meet again on Sunday for a hike w the dogs. I was cautious and let her do most of the talking. I validated while holding my boundaries. We talked about what it might look like. The squirrel was pretty brave and seemed to know what she wanted, and I didn't scare her away. We are going to take things slowly. I don't know what the future holds, and I'm not jumping up and down for joy. Not yet. We have a ways to go.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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Thanks for updating! So happy for you, this sounds very promising!

And you sound so sober about this and in control. I wish you all the very best!


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 1,965
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Good to hear that!


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
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Great!


M 37
W 34

T 12
M 8
D 7
S 4

Need break 4/12/15
W no ring 7/7/15

Separate room 4/12/15
Separate living suggested 8/15
W moved out 11/1/15
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NYGal Offline OP
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After tossing and turning last night, I'm pretty tired. Feeling even more cautious today than last night. W said the split with ow was "mostly mutual". I wondered who was not so certain but didn't ask. Then at one point she said she doesn't even want to be friends with her. (That was a huge relief, but I'm being cautious about believing it.) Also said ow called and texted her about having dinner last night and W said no. Sounds like ow needs to get on here and learn some good DB techniques!

Next steps are crucial, I know that. I will let her make the next move. There was talk of yoga tonight and Sunday morning, but I'm not going to go, at least not tonight. I'm going to GAL instead! And the plan is to hike on Sunday.

I'm focused on staying calm and detached as best I can. Not easy for me! Let ow push and beg and pursue. NYGal is going to back off a bit.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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Posts: 1,450
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I wish there was a prize smiley here, because you deserve it!

Good for you - a few days inbetween and you doing other stuff is perfect! And a hike is a perfect activity.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 1,415
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NYGal Offline OP
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Thanks Painter! BTW I did drink two glasses of wine. The first one was to calm the nerves and the next one was just because. I'm going to watch it, though. She had two as well. That's one more than I usually have.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 347
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That's wonderful, NYGal! So happy for you. smile Take things slow and let her win you back. Remember, you are the prize! smile


Me: 43, Him: 40
Married: 21 years

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I am so happy to hear that you dinner went well, NYGal. You did great, and I think that your'e totally right to take it very slowly and cautiously at this point.

annab74 is right - she needs to win YOU back now, not the other way around.


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
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