Getting out of in house S (9)

[vise82]

Hey,

I need this space from her. Its like I am falling in love with her again. Seeing her everyday and having good interactions and all this family time is eroding any progress I had as far as detachment.

With the summer coming up good memories are flooding back and S7 is the same as when we are out with the kids he always has a good memory to share with me and W about camping or our old place when it was just him and us.

It is scaring me because all this opening of my heart is exposing it to being broken again. I am DBing but with no arguments and bad stuff happening between us it just seem like my heart wants to open up. I am doing what I can to stop it but it seems like I cant.

We are going to a dinner at the kids school tonight with the kids. Be pleasant and in the moment enjoy the company. I do all that stuff. And with having no R talks I have not heard from W that nothing has changed. Before when I felt like this I would pursue and she would set me straight. She hasn't set me straight for months.

I am not telling her the feeling I am having but I am sure she can tell. Woman just know don't they.

But I don't move until a month from now and this is the path I was hoping for. To make the best of the last month together. It just that all the anger I was feeling a couple of months ago is gone. And I don't know if I am putting rose colored glasses on again or if the positive interaction is creating positive feeling for me.

This is why I said last week I would like to know from her right now do you see us together or not, and if she says no I can close my heart to her.

I know I need to be patient get through the move create the distance for her.

The looking in the eyes I was doing that and it has triggered the start of these feeling I have for W to come back for me.

OK about me now. I am working on the details of taking time off work to move and get my place ready. I realize I need to dive into this move to keep my mind off W. I don't know how realistic that is as everything in the house reminds me of her.

Working on the S agreement with lawyer. I talked to W about removing the clause of no kid contact with my parents at all to both W ant I need to agree before any contact. W did not want to change it. Also my pension she said in the beginning maybe to help me move along with he S that she wouldn't touch my pension, well now W said that her lawyer said she is going to split it, its the law. My Lawyer agreed she has a right to it but no law is forcing her to take her half.

See W started all this selling of house and buying a house with out a S agreement in place, Stuff out of our control is stalling the agreement from getting signed. W is at risk of being sued and losing her house soon. W is getting stressed about that. But She put her self in this situation. She did not want to follow the normal way to do things. I was worried about this a couple of months ago but I went along with what W wanted, hopefully it works out. But right now the risk is there. If it was just me I would not do it this way, but with W threatening to take me to court and making it a drawn out battle I am taking this risk because it is what was best for me at the time.