I think it may be the finality of it all. I'm not sure of much anymore and question the devil out of everything now. It's very hard now, especially after coming to the realization that she hid so many things from me. I think the worst of it all was not informing me of her very abusive past (from age 4 to adult) until after BD. I can't see how for 10 years she never told me of it yet expected me to know her and what drives her actions. I'm going to be honest and say I feel like our marriage was nothing but a fraud...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
My H's AP is 17 years younger than him & was a work colleague. In truth, she's probably not that interesting and will be an affair down.
However, for a MLCer - a younger woman helps them recapture some of that youth they fear they are losing I guess. They can still feel - I haven't lost it - and that seems to matter a great deal to them as they struggle to deal with aging.
JMHO of course though xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
That makes sense, Sotto. Along with the new clothes, new aftershave, partying, the desire to buy an absolutely ridiculous and impractical car (one big argument we had, in the last year we were together).
I just wanted to express my gratitude and appreciation to prophet salifu for bringing my husband back to me,I was married to my husband for 4 years and all of a sudden he started seeing another lady (his mistress).he started hailing at me and he was abusive.. and he hated me , but I still loved him with all my heart . the situation made me unsettle and not to focus at work .so a friend told me about trying prophet salifu prayers to get my husband back and introduced me to him ? i did not listen to her and hoped that my husband will come back home . after 9 month of seperation and depression , it got out of hand and my husband came back home to break the news to me that he want a divorce that he is getting married to his mistress .Hmmm it was so shocking to me ,i felt sad and more depressed ,so i contacted my friend again and decieded to try to use spiritual means reluctantly..although I didn't believe in all those things? I never thought in a million years that i will get my husband back to me a again. but I was proved wrong.after 24 hours, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn't believe it that we are back together. I am deeply satisfied and thankful with prophet salifu work .
Last edited by Cadet; 04/22/1602:15 AM. Reason: As per forum agreement outside links not allowed
So, my WH has been working abroad since the end of January. He's due back in this country quite soon, but he won't finish his contract for another month or so, so he'll be busy.
I've really enjoyed the time he's been away. I knew instinctively that he wouldn't be in touch during this time (I reckon he's using his work abroad to essentially run away from the situation he's created). I feel like I've used my time well, and am feeling ever calmer and more detached.
I realise though I still have a long way to go on this front, and I don't feel like I want to interrupt this process.
I'm starting to feel concerned that he might text me after he's back (either soon, or when this job is finished). And I starting to feel concerned that he might suggest meeting up.
I don't think that I want to (at this point in time, anyway).
I know I can't have an answer before he messages me - I don't know what he's going to say. But what could I say that is a 'thanks, but no thanks' type of answer? Am I that blunt with him?
I'm normally not a blunt person at all, I would always cushion a negative with a little something. But I've changed during these six months. I feel like I could say that now, and be true to who I am now.
Go with your heart. Only you can make yourself happy. If he wants to chat, then make it on your own time.if you're going to be in a mall, he could join you for a while for coffee... But then you get up and you walk away after you've realised how much you don't need him anymore.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Go with your heart. Only you can make yourself happy. If he wants to chat, then make it on your own time.if you're going to be in a mall, he could join you for a while for coffee... But then you get up and you walk away after you've realised how much you don't need him anymore.
Thank you DDJ.
I think I'm 95% at that point anyway...realising that I don't need him. There *is* a small part that still bankers after something. And I think that that something is the old M. But that doesn't exist any more, so it's a sort of wistful hankering, if you like.
I'm also at the point where I understand and *know* that I don't need anyone else to give me an answer for me to find a resolution. Ultimately meaning that I don't need him to confirm my feelings for me.
This is definitely and utterly a 180 for me, in a lifetime kind of way. I've always needed to have my suspicions, thoughts and feelings validated by someone else (in a position of authority, by an authority figure etc).
And I think that people have probably perceived that as a lack of confidence, and a lack of self esteem.
So this is possibly all new territory for me. But I don't know. Maybe none of that makes sense.
