Not sure where to go from here

[Irish M]

There is more than one way of damaging children's well being than just beating them! It is not OK to parent how you like regardless of whether it's right or abusive in a non violent way!

I agree with you IP 100% and yes parenting is teamwork. Communication between two stable parents is priority. If one parent needs to step it up because of the lacking other parent it doesn't mean you are belittling the other parent for their short comings. I think you do an amazing job. Your concern about your H is justified based on your situation. You are looking out for your kids best interests. You are a mom.

Discipline of children is always a sensitive issue between couples. One is soft the other is too harsh. That's were good parenting comes in. Work together and find the middle. Respect each others decisions as long as they are not abusive. Banning them from playing on their games console 'forever' is way pout of line. Forever to a MLC'R is an hour or a day depending what cloud they are on. To a small child it is traumatizing.


You and your children deserve peace and harmony. I hope your H realizes that this circus roller-coaster he is on is putting your kids and you in the front seat.

I also don't understand why it comes across that LBS should work their socks off to change their erroneous behaviors that have contributed to the M breakdown but that the WAS can just continue with their negative behaviors and not work on themselves at all!

I see where you can get that message from certain posts. In my case and I believe in your situation because we have been through this twice already and the first time around was brushed under the rug. We have been walking on eggshells and living with a deep down fear that it will happen again. Well it did. I know my STBXW is broken. Did I add to her breakdown maybe. Was I the cause NOPE. She never voiced the issue that was growing inside her head. Waited to run away. Avoid all responsibility. I feel your H is the same. Like a teen hanging out at a friends house.

You are doing great. Your H is missing tools to be a complete person. Hopefully he is working on it. You don't need to change your core person. Just be true to yourself, be strong for your kids. Your H has a lot more work to do than you.

hugs IP

Irish