Blindsided and Lost

[Nate14]

Thanks Rose, I'm gonna post updates as I need to vent or express how I'm feeling.

I find I'm waffling between anger and grief right now. I get that I have blame in the way our marriage went but I don't get why W took wouldn't even try. Why she went straight to shutting it down and starting an affair which obviously creates more problems and complicates things even worse. I feel this marriage is beyond repair at this point. She felt she had expressed her unhappyness all the time. Apparently I'm just to thick to have heard it. I know she said she was unhappy whenever we would fight, I always took that to be ways to be mean and hurt me by never really thought she was unhappy to the point of just leaving. Of course I've done what I think most H do in this situation. I made the floors of our house sparkle so well you could eat off them. I'm starting to get that may not be enough. I'm starting to try and keep very limited contact with her.