Ok, folks, I just thought of the perfect example of why mind-reading is wasted energy and will get you no where. Remember, you may be right, but there is also a 50% chance you are wrong. WAS are in a fog--that fog is real--and they are not thinking or acting rationally.
During the year my H had his head up his arse, his words were adamant that he wanted out, wanted D, was moving on, blah, blah, blah, but his actions were all over the place and not consistent. Some days he stone-walled me and other days I got the puppy dog eyes.
Well there was this one time I thought the message was clear. In my bedroom he left a nice bottle of wine with a lovely congratulations card. He was never a romantic and never good about gifts. Here we were headed for D and then this. So I just about flipped! I analyzed and picked this apart for days with anyone that would still listen. I was so sure this meant he was thinking about me, that he cared, and that he was having second thoughts.
WRONG! Not at all. You see we have talked about this now. I asked him about why he did that back then, and his response was that he just wanted to congratulate me. That's it. He left it in my room so the kids didn't see and get confused. I was so wrong the one time I was so sure.
You know when he missed me the most? This one time we had a 3 minute telephone conversation about the dog. ABOUT THE DOG! I thought nothing of it. Not at all! That conversation, he says, made him realize how much he missed just talking to me and things feeling normal. It was his big eye opener as to how much he missed me. We are not even dog people.
Do I rest my case? Stop mind-reading. Stop torturing yourself. Go pamper yourself with a hot bath, a night out with friends, plan a trip, go be with your kids, and just do what brings you joy and strength.
... Or go take the dog for a walk ...
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
