Hi Mleigh, well I think there may be some re-writing of history going on by him. Although the problems in your M presumably began with him, he's putting a slant on that - you made that choice and so etc. I must admit it's one of the things I worry about in that I chose to move out at BD. And, given all circumstances I would hate to have that cast back at me at some point.

What I would ask is whether you want to be having this difficult exchange about your R at all, and if so whether text/email is the best way? As we all know, trying to have a constructive exchange with a MLCer can be boggling at best, and it doesn't make sense to try and make sense out of some stuff they say. If there is anything in there of use to you, take it away and process that - otherwise, I would encourage you to take it all with a big pinch of salt.

Do you feel that there's something you need from him before you can truly let go? Or decide to stand further? Are you feeling you may want to file for D and you're trying to move things on in some way?

Looking at my own sitch, H filed for D anyway and so that choice wasn't left with me. I'm both glad and sad about that. Sad it happened and glad I didn't have to decide. I would say, if you're not ready to decide yet, let some more time pass. People say that you are normally very sure once you know you are done. But if you are hoping for some definite sign from him to move on or not, he may not deliver and all you are left with is negative and upsetting interactions.

So, I guess I'm trying to say - big pinch of salt - think about where you want to go with this - and accept that he may not have much constructive stuff to offer just now...

JMHO of course and take care smile x

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus