No need for her to see it. When things are better between you, maybe you can discus this stuff...perhaps.
For now these changes are for you and you alone...so you can become the man u want yk be, not the man she wants you to be. They will only bee seen as manipulation if you try to tell her about them or show hwr you are reading this or that.
I also found a copy of...
Last edited by Cristy; 04/25/1610:58 AM. Reason: per forum agreement, do not mention other books/authors
I feel your pain and relate very much to your feelings now and the sitch that you are in. I know that me and my WAW avoided conversations out of fear of conflict and brushed things under the carpet, and it was only with the BD that I looked back and realized the selfishness that I had demonstrated for so long. I always thought being a great father was good enough to show her I loved her. Our lack of effective communication left far too much unresolved. The feelings of guilt are very heavy some days no matter how much I know or am told by my IC, spiritual leaders, and the few in my support group that she also shares responsibility for the breakdown in the MR. And I completely relate to your struggles when she says the kids will be fine. That just stings as we know better and the signs of the difficulties are already showing for both of my daughters.
I wish I could give you some great advice on specifics of what to do, but my advice is simply the things that we learn from Dbing.
Focus on yourself, be the best that you can be, be the best father ever, GAL, know the errors you have made in the M and do 180, and basically become the person that only a fool would leave. The rest is lots of faith, hope and God willing things turn out the way they should. It is a marathon and time is what we have. Do not have any expectations of her and detach.
I send you my support and share my hope with you that your family can all grow and become stronger as you go through these difficult times.
God bless
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
