I have never posted on your site, but I have read a lot of it. your husband reminds me so much of a relationship I had when I was around 18. We did not have children or anything so I understand there is difference. But the common factors that really stand out to me is your husbands continued disrespect (both physically and mentally no? ) for clearly stated boundaries. Very controlling, from an outsider looking in. Also his very mysoginist and irrational attitude. (What's ok for him is not ok for you) I get this feeling that it's even more then just cake eating. I wish we could pm.
I am in agreement with vanilla.
You are doing incredibly well at divorce busting, and I think your husband will eventually come back to you. But I also think (again just an outsider point of view) that there are more things to consider then getting him to stop dating ow and come back to you.
I apologize if I am off base.
Can you tell us more about your relationship before husband left? How did you come to date? What were your fights about and what were they like?
