Need advice

[CRW]

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.

Last night we did a little birthday get together for our 14 year old. Had supper, cleaned up together, I helped put the littles in their pj's. I asked her is she needed anymore help, then I told her was going to take off. It was very business like, which i took as discouraging.

[CRW]

I guess what I really want to know is, is it too late after filing and separating to save a marriage?

[Cristy]

Hello CRW,

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.

The short answer is no. It is definitely not too late to save a marriage after filing and separating. The birthday get together sounds nice. Why is business like bad? Don't be discouraged, focus on the good parts of the evening by remembering what worked.

Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 when you would like to schedule another session with your DB Coach.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004

[CRW]

Well, one night after a joint birthday party and sitting around the table again as a family, she is hitting me up about signing divorce papers. This roller coaster is testing my strength for sure.

[CRW]

And now just found out she is friends on Facebook with the guy I think she was cheating on me with.

[CRW]

Well, is it time for me to pull the plug? She is hitting me up about signing papers. I responded to her with , Right now I am open to all possibilities for the future of our family. I want to give the kids the best possible life they can have'. NO response to that.

[TimR]

CRW. Sorry to read about your sitch. Funny how the WW pushes for the D until you get to the point you want it as bad as they do. Once they realize that you truly want it to, they then pull back from that thought? Why cause they realize their backup plan is no longer there. I went through that and count myself grateful for two things 1. I did not waste too much time in a bad M and 2. I did not spend too much time drudging through limbo. What I have to thank for that is GALing. I started doing many things I have not done in years and years. It started with the idea of I will show WW how good I can be and then started doing it for myself. Once that happened I started enjoying it and my attitude changed. At the same time my attitude changed, opportunities opened. Now I am more happy than even when my WW and I started dating. Obviously that pulled me out of my funk.

Obviously this did not happen over night. There were many sleepless nights, being sick to my stomach, anxiety I have never felt and tears. But time heals wounds. While that is easy to say, I know for you there is confusion and hopelessness. Work through the books and follow the advice of the wise people on this board and maybe you will get back with WW, maybe you will not. But I can promise you this, whatever happens, if you are strong you will find happiness in the future and it will be good. The wounds will heal and you will be a better you than before, either with your WW or with someone more deserving.

I wish you luck my friend.

[CRW]

Thanks for that.

I guess I am not sure if this behavior is because she is having second thoughts about the divorce, or that she just wants out.

[CRW]

I had the kids last night, she was texting me constantly asking what was going on. Then this morning she actually called me about the kids, then asked me how I was doing. I'm trying not to get my hope up, but I feel like she was testing me earlier in the week to see where I am at.

[CRW]

Part of me feels like she is trying to open the door for me to initiate a conversation about trying again, but she is too stubborn just to say it.

Through our whole marriage I've always been the one to smooth things over, maybe I shouldn't expect that now?