Don't be a victim. Be her husband. Be the reason she leaves the OM by not being the reason she leaves you.
Boundaries before loving. She needs to respect you before she can love you, but respect has to be earned. You can't just force her to do it. Earn it with good boundaries.
Sometimes, we have to step back a bit and observe ourselves, and look for the changes we can make in ourselves, before we can expect others to change with us.
