I am about to get a divorce and my best friend is getting married this summer. (My guess is right around the same time we end up mediating or litigating) I am truly happy for her and Believe it or not helping her plan is actually a fun distraction for me, despite the irony of it
Today, She asked me to write the maid of honor speech. (I am not the maid of honor). This is kind of a tough one for me. Was thinking of writing something about how friendship is the foundation for a happy marriage and then leading into what a wonderful friend she is to everyone, but not really sure. Will have to do lots of brainstorming. I haven't even googled speeches yet so it's very preliminary.
I am flattered that she asked me despite my situation.
I have been thinking a lot about it and deep down I still have faith in marriage. I think my friend will have a successful one. My parents and aunts and uncles and grandparents have successful marriages. I hope to one day have a successful marriage.
I think I didn't understand what was necessary to make a marriage successful. I took a lot of it for granted. i took my husband for granted. I went into it just thinking things would work itself out. I went in it being unprepared for it not succeeding. I just thought, "we are married. Everything is secure" and I became very lazy. husband is right when he says he was put last.
I don't know if it's because we were two people that should not have been married or if it's because we were young and inexperienced and just were not prepared. Probably a mixture of both.
Would it be the same with someone else? Would me doing everything "right" next time around be enough? What's to prevent next person from having a mlc or affair? Last time I was single I was in my early 20s. I'll be 40 in a few years and now I have to navigate this as someone older and less desirable. Ok. Im getting way too negative again. Thank god I have a second hypnotherapy session tomorrow.
Sorry for the rambling and what turned into some very anxious thiughts. Good night all!
