OFP

[1gr8dad]

Hi OFP, I'm so sorry to hear your sitch, it breaks my heart. It sounds like a lot has been let loose on your kids, your parents and yourself. There are aspects of your story that are similar to mine and I know from having a W who suffers from depression what a huge burden that can be. I know what it feels like at first being forced to chop up the family unit that once was. I know what it's like hearing things from our kids we wished we didn't.

However, here's the good news I see if you can try to see it through all the fog of pain:

1) The OFP (even though it was unfairly filed against you) may be a blessing in disguise because you are now forced to detach. I am often set back because I have to see my WW. Perhaps in a month from now you will see what I mean: out of sight out of mind.

2) You will soon feel a sense of relief that you are no longer responsible to emotionally support a depressed person right now and will take comfort at least that she is seeking professional help. In time maybe that will help her see clearly. But there's nothing u can or should do now. You can't. You are no longer responsible. There is no rope to hold onto anymore. Howeverm YOU ARE responsible for yourself and for the dad your kids see.

3) Your time with the kids. They don't need toys, they need you. Now separated I get more time with my D3 than ever before and it's priceless!

4) Your parents - they are a blessing. Don't forget to always tell them that. Sometimes we can be caught up in our own pain to forget to give love where it's due.

5) Yourself, you are my personal hero to have supported this women for so long despite all the fun things that come with depression. How you fought for the marriage, tried to save it with MC. How you've opted to take the group course to develop yourself. So impressive given the freshness of your sitch.

I know you may not feel it now, but you can pat yourself on the back for your progress so far. You can keep doing more. Read the homework given by Cadet, it will still help given your situation and is agnostic of MLC/WW/WAS.

KEEP POSTING, it's a form of journalling and seeking support. (People who suffer from PTSD found journalling expedited their healing process) LBHs have all gone though a trauma, there's no doubt. Read other people's treads/stories and post there if you can even if its to say hi. It helps being part of this community.