Wife wants to separate at end of school year

[Bhuda1]

Today after a discussion with my wife, I realize that separation is inevitable. I know that I have done things that are inexcusable and the main thing is not keeping my wife informed about the debt that I had accumulated. I should not have kept this from her. I had hoped my business would have turned around and the debt paid off and she would be non the wiser. Obviously I could not keep the truth from her.

I am ashamed that I did not respect her enough to tell the truth, out of fear, embarrassment and pride. It is inexcusable. This is the main reason for my sitch.

I love her more than anything. I have failed so far at db'ing. Although she is ready to give up on our marriage, I am not. I was told to read ... I have not had any luck finding that book but I will keep trying.

My previous actions eat away at me every minut of every day. Hindsight being 20/20. I only wish I had the balls to admit to my wife that things were not as financially sound as I let on. I continued to treat my family although I knew I couldn't afford the lifestyle. Now I am so careful with my spending I deny myself so much and only buy what is needed.

My life has been so consumed with my family, other than work and going to the gym, I cannot find a way to get a life. I am scared of a future without my wife. I know she will always be a part of it as we have two beautiful boys. My eyes water every time I think of how a separation/divorce will affect them. My family is the most rewarding thing in my life.

I still have hope on my side. I do know a separation is not divorce but it is the first step and I hope that if we are do separate and I follow through with the DB techniques, we will be able to get back together.

Our discussion will be continuing later this evening when the boys got to bed. I just don't know what I will say. She has always placed me on the defensive and no matter what I say she always reverts back to my debt accumulation. She says we are both to blame but she finds away to dig the knife a little deeper. I keep my cool but sometimes I feel like exploding. I need help!