Quote: tryingtochange: What you and your husband need to do is identify your needs for each other. You also need to eliminate any habits that are problems for the other spouse. THE GOAL IS A GREAT MARRIAGE, NOT GREAT SEX. Great sex is part of a great marriage, but your goal need to be bigger for both of you.
Wow CeMar, you've really given me a lot to think about. And you are right on the money regarding a great marriage. If it's not a package deal, then it's really besides the point.
You probably need him to communicate, share feelings, and spend quality time with you ALONE. Tell him!
Ok, don't hate me for saying this. But it's the opposite for us. I'm really not a "tell me your deepest darkest secret and let's bond" kind of girl. I like to be alone by myself to recharge my batteries (no not those, the internal ones). And H is more the one to talk about feelings etc. But I am and have been for awhile working on that also.
Tell him you want to make this journey TOGETHER. It is a journey that you never will finish, their is always more to learn. Great marriages require work to make them go.
It's interesting but, I once asked an 80 year old woman how she managed to stay married for so long. Her advice is something I think about every day. "I have never once thought about divorce, murder yes, divorce no." This has served me well.
In effect we measure ourselves as men by weather we can please our "Lovers". If we feel we are not "Desired" by our "Lovers", then we have failed at life, we are not the men that we need to be. It shatters our self confidence.
This took me awhile to wrap my head around, but now I realize how very true it is.
