Thanks Z, I love the way you read situations (not just on my thread)and see opportunities.
I have been mulling over a thank you gesture for something else. I want to go beyond simple words. It feels right because it is not to influence her but for me to show gratitude.
I may not reply to some of your suggestions but I take them on board. On this journey I find that something I came across a year ago is right for now but wasn't then. So keep pointing out opportunities. NAnother view is always welcome.
As for her LL, I am fairly sure and it is by far the one I SEE. But I try not to over analyse that for now.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together