WAW still behaving angry and moving to divorce

[SH_]

Today's update

I have now been over 24 hours without the shakes and full blown anxiety. And I did not need to take a anxiety med for the first day in a week.
I was able to focus at work, although I do feel a bit tired, but that is probably due to not having a full nights rest in a bit. Although last night was a decent sleep with just a couple of wake ups.

I spent this evening with my lil Angels. Went to dinner and looked at a couple of potential new places to set up a fresh home for us.

D17 is struggling a bit, but she worked hard to stay engaged and out of her anxiety attacks. She did well, but I will need to keep an eye on her and be there as needed. Also I'm gonna check out a therapist option for her tomorrow.

D5 is doing really well and brings a smile to both of us.

In all of this the only moment of challenge was when I saw WAW this morning when dropping off my lil gals. I did fine and kept it short and cordial, but it wound a knot in my stomach that hit off and on all day.

Sad news from my father as it was determined that my mother has been diagnosed with breast cancer. This is ecspecially challenging for the family as it was about a year ago that she was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Her treatment s for that went well and received a good bill of health barely a month ago for that, so this is a shock and blow for the family. I am worried but surprisingly calm and optimistic that she will beat this.

So over all feeling better, a little bitter with WAW, loving the time with my baby girls and praying for my mother and the battle she is now engaging in.

Have a peaceful night everyone.

[Phoebe]

I am so very sorry to hear about your mother, SadHub. That is terrible news, but you are right to be optimistic about your Mom's recovery. I hope that everything goes well for her.

I am glad to hear that yesterday was a better day for you, and that the shakes have abated. It's very good to hear that you're in bit better place.

Thank you again for the kind words.

[Vanilla]

I hope the breastfeeding cancer is just a random cancer.

For the record 15 years ago I was diagnosed with cervical and three years later with ancillary breast cancer. So it is doable with the right circumstances.

My prayers continue to be with you and your family, I will light a votive for peace and comfort.

Hugs and my best love

V

[SH_]

Thank you V.

I am amazed each time I read a post from you. You and your story, advice and genuine wishes for me and my family always provides me with a lift in my spirit and confidence with my sitch and family.

Knowing that you beat out a very similar situation that my mother is in gives me renewed hope. I know that God has a plan and that it will turn out as it should and that I will benefit and grow from it. And your genuine concern and prayers are appreciated in ways that words cannot express

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.

[SH_]

Thank you Phoebe.

My hopes remain high for my mother and I have faith that things will work out the way they are meant to.

I had another pretty good day today. It started off a bit rough as a anxiety attack woke me at 1 am and rolled on and on until I finally gave in at 8 am for a med. It took the edge off and I did so well that my IC commented on this being the best that I appeared, sounded and behaved since I first starting meeting with him. Yay me today

One side note that ticked me off, but now I am just laughing about. D17 mentioned that she had a difficult morning after I dropped her off at her mothers place. I asked why, and she said that she noticed my limited edition carved looney tune figurines on the sink at her moms house. She asked her mom where she got them from and the reply was that her mother had sent them to her.

I am laughing because she lied to her daughter and D17 knew it, because D17 had given me several of them as Christmas gifts over the years and she knows I had purchased several of the others. Yes I was a little angry at first but now I just think about the ongoing childish behavior that is being carried on. And to top it off when I mentioned it to L and that I was going to ask WAW about them, he said just email and ask her about them. We can address that later in the d proceedings as needed. WAW keeps acting like I am going to rip her off or something so she does silly stuff like this. We keep finding more stuff she has taken from here and things that she broke on her way out Sunday in her blaze of glory. I just have to laugh after the initial surge to be angry.

Anywhoo I wish all of you a good night and the best of Dbing for each of the sitch's that are being faced in these times.

[SH_]

I slept a little better last night, but I still woke up with some anxiety.
I put on a happy face for D17, but as we were driving her over to school she knew I was a little shaky. She told me it would be okay and that I have been doing good so keep it up. That put a real smile on my face.

I arrived to work a little shaky, but made it another day without an anxiety med.

I saw my GP today and he gave me something for sleep so fingers crossed it helps and I am hoping that with a few good nights of sleep I may be able to minimize the anxiety and get back on track with some things.

I am getting a little impatient with the L's as they are still working out the finance agreement so I can have things split with WAW.

I am looking for a new place to move to and want to pick up a car for D17.
I am looking forward to the weekend as I will have both of my girls and they have been the best medicine for me this week.

It's been a week of some bitterness and laughing as I look back at some of the antics of WAW last weekend. But the oddest thing is that I really am not missing her at this time. The relief from the drama since the BD has been so refreshing. I am not saying that I have detached, but I was really worried about feeling alone, yet I am enjoying the quiet alone time, and the time with just my daughters that I finally feel like I am decompressing and clearing my head.

This weekend will be a time for me to regroup and plan out my near future as it relates to my new family unit, my professional plans and my GAL. I also will review those things that I own in the breakdown of my MR, and work towards correcting my actions and behaviors for whatever the future holds.

I will be looking for advice from you all as it relates to DBing with the WAW through the D proceedings, co parenting and the other interactions. To date she is still WAW as there is no evidence of EA/PA, so I know Lrt and 180 are the best, but tips for these as we will be separate and most likely D'd in a couple of months. Although I still have yet to be served, so not sure where that is as she assured this would have happened last week.

[Vanilla]

There will come a point of detachment and your W will certainly know this. Expect anger, ranting and spew.

Underneath the anger is some issue that explains her anger. It may not be a real issue or even related to you or D17 although it will be an issue for W. Likely related to her childhood, her circus, her monkeys.

I know this peace and space, you need every moment for healing. Every precious drop.

You are working on you and for yourself and your children.

Let it unfold,you have the gift of time. Let the Ls so their work.

Your story of the toono made me smile greatly. It symbolises something to WAW. They were gifts to you, nothing can take that away from you.

Hugs

V

[GWH]

Glad to hear your doing a little better SadHub. Have a great time with D's this weekend brother.

[Phoebe]

HI SadHub. I'm just stopping in to see how you're doing and to thank you for all the support you've given me. I hope that you have a peaceful weekend, with lots of good time with your daughters.

[Phoebe]

Hey there, SadHub! Just checking in again today.