14 days of sheer hell continues

[DDJ]

Thank you for your input. Straying is a deal killer. unfortunately for her. I told her that if she cheats, then she is dead to me, been saying it for 10 years, so lets hope that its sunk in and is my only real boundary. She replied yesterday "now why don't you cheat and make it so that I never find out". WOW, that's so considerate.

So here's a run-down of the past 2 days...

Day 0 - Gave up on marriage
Sandi said something about the fact that one must be willing to actually lose your marriage before you can truly detach. I think I did that on Monday.

Day 1 - Detach
Pro's
WW ran her own bubble bath
WW dressed her own son, as I was busy cleaning the kitchen
WW drove to the shop to buy milk (3 things she's never done before).
It appears that she has seriously moved on from OP in local city

Cons
My stomach is turning a little whilst i type this, but i realise that its the dread of her cheating on me. Thats that feeling now.
She appears to have started to fantasise about an OM in the UK, we're in South Africa.

So this will now be day 2 of detach. I need to prepare for the event that she will cheat on me. She will be punished. if she does so, but i can only trust her as far as i can see her. She says she is not too keen on going to Victoria Falls next month, and will rather go to back to the city where the local OP is for those 4 days "to visit her FF" (perhaps one last chase, oooh exciting). This will be the last time that I can say for certain that she has not cheated.

I know that you all say, do not move too soon, but I will not sacrifice my strongest value for someone else. So either she goes with on the holiday or I treat her as though she has cheated when I return. Talk about a good excuse to detach!