I also agree. The retreat sounds like a great support system and you'll meet some new people who will become a lifeline for you in the days ahead.

Dropping the rope is the best way to go. Until he's really ready to listen and get the much needed help he needs, he'll continue to flounder in deep water. The most important thing is to take care of you and your children. Nothing else matters in the world but protecting yourself and your children.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.