The emails between W and her former EA are pretty tame. Basically W tells him we plan to separate. He responds that he is sad for her and kids but excited that she is available. He states if he travels to our area he will make a point to see her. A few days later she talks about being exhausted and needing space and he offers support. Frankly, I don't feel I can focus on this aspect, I need to focus on me.
Today I'm in a better place - sleep does that doesn't it? I also saw the W struggle a bit, emotionally, today. She is very guarded, always has been, and has been really trying to put forward this happy "my life is going to be so great" face. (At least that's my interpretation.) It was hard for me - my thoughts were essentially, "Great, you'll put your best face on for everyone else but me." Today was a relief because it showed me that she is human and this isn't easy for her either.
It also pointed out that I need to put on some of my happy face too. She needs to see me as a high quality person. One that everyone would want in their life. And this will be my focus - become the man that I know I should be. All this untapped potential needs to be put into motion.
Final thought - was confiding in a friend what has been happening. Started talking about life events from years ago. Was horrified and how my W and I handled things. So many missed opportunities to connect and support and love each other. No more regrets going forward!!!!!!!!
