14 days of sheer hell continues

[MoveFrwd]

don't want a drunk wife.i don't want my son around her drunk family either.

So youre going to give her over 70% custody?

My WW is so stubborn that I have always been unable to gain her respect.

Instead of worrying about her, lets talk about you. What have you done to earn her respect?

Ive also realised that I've been wandering myself for the last few years. Resenting her for her lack of respect, not respecting her and almost kissing another girl, just a few months ago

Exactly. You didnt respect her or your marriage. So, you think the easiest thing to do is get a divorce. Throw it all away and start over. What makes you think your next marriage will be better? According to google, "statistics show that in the U.S., 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce."

Perhaps that is why I think that a divorce could be exactly what I need. I was fantasising about having a first kiss not so long ago. It's a way out, a new beginning, an excuse to be wayward. This could be why I'm not too concerned about my son, only thinking of my impending freedom.

Why you are not too concerned for your son? What the heck are you talking about? Do you think this wont impact him? Come back when he's inconsolable about missing his mom while hes with you. What do you think you are teaching him about the value of marriage? "An excuse to be wayward"?? What are you teaching him about how to treat women?

I don't know how to make the wandering stop

Hers? If anyone knew, theyd be super rich. She's going to do what she's going to do. Dont choose your actions based on what you think or hope she will do.

So WW emails me to say that she and son could move in with her dad, so that i don't worry where she goes. I'm happy since he's very authoritative and wants her to not get divorced.

I say "ok, do you want to move out this wknd?". She then replies, that she's going nowhere. I can't deal.

Like this. You thought she would be all for it. You would get her into a better situation for your M. Then she turned back on her thoughts and you're spinning.

I don't think that I can take this anymore, I just want the hurting to stop.

Yep. Thats what this site is for. To figure out how to stop the pain. Just being divorced isnt going to stop it. There is no easy button. The way through it is to detach, GAL, and focus on your own well being. Its possible that divorce is a byproduct of that. But the actual physical act of being divorced isnt a cure for the pain. Not at all.

Sandi2 speaks about dropping the rope, I think i threw it away yesterday. I think that i decided to walk away.

Walking away and Dropping the rope are so incredibly not the same thing. How about you just slow down and stop "doing". Dont walk away or forward. Just live your life.

But my stomach turns when I think about losing her...

It's been, what, two days since you said you werent going to regret your divorce?