Thank you Scrant.

I find myself drifting further and further away from H. I'm not particularly interested at all in him now. I don't know if I'm even interested in speaking to him, were he to get in touch and suggest meeting up. I think I'd be like 'meh...'no thanks'.

He seems like a stranger, and our M seems like a lifetime ago, like they belonged to another person.

I feel like I've lost a lot of things (blind faith in love, wild hope, in other people) but I'm not quite sure if I've gained anything from all of this. I don't feel upset, or wound up, day to day. I actually feel quite calm now. I maybe feel a little sad, but I don't feel depressed.

This is all a strange process, for sure.


Me: 48, XH: 42
T: 18 years, M: 15 years

EA/PA 1: 6/2012
EA/PA 2: from autumn 2012-present

BD: 5/2013
ILYBNILWY BD & left: 10/2015

OW conceived: 8/2016
Born: 4/2017

H filed: 7/2017
D final: 28/12/2017