Not sure how to respond, so much I'd like to do and say but I can't. Feeling really sad that I can't support W as I would have in the past but that's his job now.
It's tough love. The person applying it and the one receiving it. Just as we have to set tough love in motion when our teenagers are rebellious, so goes the WW and how the H interacts with her.
After 25 yrs, your husband instincts are set on automatic. Of course it feels strange to not support her, not protect her, not to provide for her. However, she choice to remove herself from the M (which included all those things) in order to have her OM. As long as she gets all the advantages of the M she had with you, plus her wayward lifestyle........she will continue going in that wayward direction. It usually takes reality slapping a wayward in the face in order to get their attention. So what you are doing is loving her, but it's not the easy kind.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
