You ARE doing the right things. Great job standing up for yourself with your boundary and also reaching out to OM's wife. from the threads I have read since I found this site, you hjave got to hit the affair head on like a Mack truck and bust that thing wide open. There is NO work to be done on you M while the affair is still happening. Stay strong and listen to the advice of the vets. Time to GAL like a mofo if you ask me, show her you will be just fine without her and watch what happens as her affair crumbles to the ground.
Only thing is you said you might have text OM's wife. Did she respond? Be aggressive, call her. Make sure she knows the gravity of what her H has done. She deserves to know the truth, too.
You can do this! Stay strong, keep posting and YOU WILL SURVIVE.
