@Painter, she has always been drinking as a way to deal with her problems, and I have always allowed it. I cannot allow it anymore, and she's been more sober over the last month than any that i can remember. So no, I have not spoken to a lawyer, as she can control her liquor intake, but shes never been given a proper boundary. I did threaten to leave her 1 year into our R if she did not get some control, this lasted a month and then i just let it happen. I cannot let it happen anymore, not in my house.
Please talk to a lawyer and a counselor. You are deluding yourself if you think you can control her drinking. This has nothing to do with you 'allowing' or not, alcoholism is an illness and your W needs help.
And even if you could, how would you control it if you are living apart, divorced?
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
