mleigh, I would like to see you continue to think outside the box for a while. You've grown by leaps and bounds, but your h is still very much a part of your current life. It's easier to miss something if it's not always readily available and hopefully, if he does, he'll want to be there far more in the future and appreciate all that you do not only for yourself and your son, but him as well.
I would suggest detaching just a wee bit to see if the moth will gravitate toward the candle (you).
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
