I get what Sandi is saying. I realized it early this morning as I lie awake in bed. I knew it before she posted her reply above. I had a terrible night. I started suspecting an A based on some things I was seeing. It's too long and too crazy of a story, but I don't think there is a PA. About 6 years ago she had a brief EA. She got discovered by me and as it was we were in counseling at the time. The counselor was clear (as was I) that an EA is harmful. I set boundaries and she followed them. However, I saw about a year ago that they are connected on FB. This wasn't one of the original boundaries since it never entered my mind as I wasn't a social media user. I should have said something right then that she was out of bounds, but I didn't want to start something because our relationship was always so rocky. Fast forward to today - I see she has sent him an email that we are separating. He replied that he was sad for her family, but happy she was coming available. He is married with kids, too. He lives across the country, but indicated he would like to see her if he is ever in the area. This is a friend of hers from long ago. I've always known that she somehow had a thing for him and it always made me feel like I don't measure up. I should have said more long ago, but I didn't.
Sandi,we have never been separated. Yes, I fully understand the Do Not Pursue philosophy and am committed to handling things that way.
Question for everyone - How do you get through all the pain? I'm trying to sleep, but can't. I'm trying to eat, but am sick to my stomach 24/7. I already exercise a lot, so getting active isn't an option. I'm just in a sucky spot. Thanks.
